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When you and a boyfriend start to fight, you're seeing it as a problem - not an opportunity to grow. Fighting can be about power struggles or it can be about establishing new ways of being a couple. To do this, look into the long term. When you fight, start saying things like, *In the next two years we might feel differently...* and *I want to get to know why you feel this way...* The point here is to be looking into the future - not the present.

And yes, LOOKS is also an INTRINSIC trait that is part of you, but it is only ONE trait. But here is the REALLY REALLY BIG NEWS:

YOUR ACTUAL INTRINSIC VALUE IS ALMOST COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.

WHAT DOES MATTER IS WHAT WOMEN FEEEEEL YOUR INTRINSIC VALUE IS!

This is why you can have a guy who has every credential in the book who is alone on Saturday night and another guy who has got NOTHING and has more babes than he can handle. A woman bases her feelings for you on just about EVERYTHING you do. Even the way you dress. And how she feels it conveys your intrinsic worth or lack of it.

The Man-tidote: A guy who is interested in you will either ask for your phone number or have gained enough information about you during your conversation to get it on his own (through work, or mutual friends.) If a man hands you his card without asking for your number, simply ask him for a pen, write your number on the back of the card, and return the card to him. That way, he'll not only have your phone number, he'll know that you don't have his. (Putting the ball in his court.)
You can protect yourself by using free web based email service addresses for any program, club, dating service, newsletter, discussion list, forum or anything else that requires an email address from you. Of course, the beginnings of protecting yourself starts with signing up for an anonymous email service using your ISP given email address to begin with. Look for a service that provides forwarding of email messages to your ISP email address. This way, should you change ISP's you can change your forwarding address only, and not have to email everyone you know about your change of address! www.mail.com offers this service. Check them out!

Let me give you a few examples of some ideas I used to have about women:
I used to think that women really liked nice guys, because I always heard women complaining about jerks.
I also thought that women didn't care about how you dressed, how you groomed, etc. I thought glasses were a sign of not being vain, and that women appreciated this. After all, women wanted a man who was not superficial, right?
I was humble and modest, thinking that women all knew that behind Clark Kent was Superman.
I thought women appreciated compliments, because every damn book I read said to compliment women.